The Blue Fox Alley

Firstly, otakus need a bit of obsession. We all know this, but after quite a bit of studying, I realised, there are different specialties of otakus, each with their own unique abilities.

Primary Classes

Fighter

The fighter has swift hands. Some used to repetitive actions till the point where the hand seems to quiver. Most are males however though some girls can dual wield. Favourite quote: The penis mightier than the sword.

I have jacked a thousand men.

Archer

The archer is a class of accuracy. No one can underestimate the power of the face shot, that hits but doesn’t kill the target. Favourite skill: Quickie Shot!

The Legendary Face Shot!

Mage

This is a class that knows how to have fun. Shopping for weird toys and anime products, I wonder what they do with these in their locked rooms. Favourite item: Robocop’s friend, Robocock.

Prestige Classes

Rogue

Though their actions seem questionable, the rogues are one of the most favoured class by all cheapskates or poor students who can’t afford to buy their own DVD. Don’t look down on the rogues, for they have an extensive information network, sending data packets in the form of P2P and torrents. Even the anti-rogue ODEX company has failed to successfully shut down their network.

Blue Mage

Weaboos, oops… blue mages are people without cultures of their own. In some ways, they can be cool, depending on what kind of culture they pick up, and adopt it in a way that fits their definition of awesome. Some choose to wear squall necklaces to school, others have little keroro toys hanging on their schoolbags but they all like to go. Nothing has however, been able to defeat the epic hero, Girugamesh!

Golemancer

Paint, plastic, metal and lights. These golemancers are obsessed over their own creations. While many beginners start with Bandai easy to summon models, they start to customize their own golems as they level up. Their army can consist from a few to hundreds. The true power only unleashes when you destroy one of their Zaku models.  The golemancer will enter a fistful rage where you will no longer see the light of day. It is also common to see scantily dressed women and skirted lolis in the top shelf(so they can peek from beneath).

Fight between golems

Politician

Whether its empty chatter or complicated matters, these politicians do not stop at feeding fuel to the flames. They come as many names, such as saltires, trolls, flamers or even stalkers, in the never-ending struggle to seek attention. They even give themselves names like The Sojourner! Cool huh? Nevertheless, they are just simple plain blokes who own a blog.

Runemaster

Master of moonrunes, these masters of translation are able to channel ultimate power into a single episode of anime goodness. They receive a lot of ‘rabu’ from the rogues. Because of their generosity, their good works is distributed throughout all the lands and the internet.

Detective

Many detectives exist, but none are as vigilant as Anon(right of bottom picture) from 4chan. Despite the lack of evidence, these detectives are able to scour ever drop of information they can in order to get justice for a cat. It seems questionable that they treat furballs better than humans though.

Weaponmasters

Weaponmasters are fighters that have reached a level of proficiency with their weapon that they know their weapon like it was part of themselves(or it may already be part of themselves). They can swing it so fast and repeatedly, that a sound is made, describable as ‘fap fap fap fap fap….’.

Artisan

The work of an artist can never be looked down upon. With many masterpieces, the inspiring doujins and fanart can help his friends and allies get through another horrible day of sex deprivation. This gives all people hope, especially those who wish to see haruhi without panties.

——-

Ultimate Class

Meister

Many years before the events of Gundam 00, Meisters already existed. These Meisters pass their abilities from one to another, starting with A, Anime Meister.

The Anime Meister stumbled across the Breast Meister, a guy who just can’t find big breast in the asian population. He showed him anime and taught him the path to enlightenment and so, he found the breast he needed.

The B-Meister then met the Cunt Meister, a gynaecologist who had seen so many cunts that he can’t erect any more. Fortunately, hentai doujins saved his fertility and the C-Meister taught another…

The story carries on until, The P-Meister, the strongest of all meisters, reached enlightenment. Somehow, the Q-meister is busy QQing over stupid Korean dramas and has yet to become ready to the exposure of anime.

Q&A time

Random person: Oh great P-Meister, why isn’t Korean text considered moonrunes?

P-Meister: Isn’t that obvious. It came from mars.