[ID Sojourner] An Interview With The Emperor

‘If there could only be a word that is capable of describing the magnitude of grandeur of the Brittanian emperor’s palace, Charles Di Britannia’, those were my thoughts as I followed the reticent attendant through long stretching halls, gardens of the most exotic collection, a library that is probably the heart of all known knowledge and I had lost count to the number of doors that I had passed.

Finally, I was led to a door and I knew who it was waiting behind it. I gave a nod of appreciation towards the man who had brought me here and he gave a courteous bow in return.

“It is not easy being an attendant in this palace right? This place is huge!” I whispered to him as I made final checks on my attire.

“Not at all,” He replied. “But to be precise, I am a maid.”

“A maid you say?”

The surprise it was, and I assumed that the dress-like uniform he was wearing was some traditional wear of esoteric origin. Trying my best not to give him a look of queer, I avert away from him after realising that he IS wearing the head wear of a maid. It was only when the door made a creaking noise as it was being opened by the maid did I recall my original motive in being here. I took a deep breath before entering the chambers of the emperor of Britannia.

Still oblivious to the fact that I had entered his dwellings, the emperor remained engrossed in his reading of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. With an intentional footstep that was much louder than normal, I finally caught his attention. He possesses a look that is a strange blend of contempt and kindness, a look bequeathed upon anyone whom he gazes upon. And that is exactly that reason most would cower before his presence.

In an attempt to maintain my nerve, I said to him, “Enjoying your read I hope? Your Majesty?”

“Not really,” He replied as he placed the book aside. “One of my princes ruined the story for me by revealing that Snape died in the end. As punishment, I banished him to one of our colonial territories. Area 101… I think.”

I was beckoned by the emperor to settle down as we began the interview. It was then that I realise the ruler himself was surrounded by half a dozen of men dressed in maid uniforms.

ID Sojourner: Firstly, allow me to express my astonishment in your willingness to accept this session with me. Seeing that the Empire is not exactly on good terms with several factions of the world, are you not afraid this article might be used by your enemies to start a personal attack on yourself or in other undesirable way?

Charles Di Britannia: That is a myth which I seek to dispel. I am not afraid to receive criticism and the fact that I am exposing myself to it by accepting your interview is my proof. Besides, why should I worry about criticism when the world is slowly coming under my control? I would also like to inform you that I am accepting more audiences from other publications as their countries have just been colonised, thanks to Schneizel’s efforts.

ID Sojourner: And that brings us to another question that I am sure, there are a lot of people who are dying to ask you. The Empire has come a long way since its people fled the British Isles many years ago to the American continent, and now it is a superpower. What do you think has been its success? How does the Britannian model work?

Charles Di Britannia: If you have been following my speeches, I have been advocating the spirit of Britannia through them. We are a land of truth, formed out of nothing. In fact, we should not be in existence if you ask me, especially if you are familiar with the history of turmoil our legacy has been through.

This world is full of lies! ‘Thou shalt not kill’…. ‘Thou shalt not steal’ and all that! These are all lies, all deceptions. The world covers behind the veil known as justice and morals, to hide their weakness. Such are their tools to justify their existence!

ID Sojourner: Uh…lol.

Charles Di Britannia: But we see the truth. The one and only truth of this world and it is through our belief of that truth we have been able to exist until now. Survival of the fittest I say. One must devour it all, whether it be other humans, wealth, power or even the world itself! All hail Britannia!

ID Sojourner: If you could elaborate on that. It is no secret that the success of Britannia’s war campaigns lies in the ability of the empire in amassing great wealth. We all know that the economy is sound despite the conflicts of recent.

Charles Di Britannia: Yes. I did say we claim the wealth of others for ourselves. All hail Britannia!

ID Sojourner: What about the aspect of the Britannian economy that has been criticised for a lack of empathy? I understand there are not a lot of practices in the governing of the Empire that protects the interest of enterprises of smaller scale, leaving them vulnerable before giants of various markets like Zainsbury, Vesco and Sunrise. Do you not think the ‘Survival of the Fittest’ policy is actually malignant by discouraging aspiring individuals to start their own business?

It was at that point, the Emperor gazed into my eyes. Though I am under the impression that Charles gave a rather reasonable explanation for my question, I regret to say that this part of the interview was not recorded. At that moment, my tape was abruptly paused after a certain sentence of ‘Look into my eyes. Not around my eyes. Into my eyes…’. So I hope you would pardon this lapse and carry on with the rest of the interview.

ID Sojourner: I am sure you are aware of the United Federation of Nations.

Charles Di Britannia: Some new show on the telly?

ID Sojourner: At the wake of the collapse of the Chinese Federation, as you should know, the Order of the Black Knights initiated the founding of a new alliance of nations.

Charles Di Britannia: Oh.

ID Sojourner: What is going to be the approach of the Britannia Empire? The United Federation comprises of many former colonies of yours, old member countries of the now broken Euro Universe, the old Chinese Federation and not to forget the Order of the Black Knights that was really an upstart back in Area 11, formerly known as Japan. With a history of animosity between the Empire and the members of the United Federation, I can dare say that measures of precautions are needed in response to the rise of this new power?

Charles Di Britannia: Now that is very sensitive indeed. All I can say is that… we are prepared.

ID Sojourner: Perhaps I have to be more indirect. If you do not mind me saying, the way the Empire is managed is pretty much like a family business. You give the overall direction of the Empire’s future while your sons and daughters execute your will. Not to forget you are supported by a core group of nobles, serving as military leaders or governors of colonised area around the world. Do you think they are capable of handling a major crisis, say uprisings in certain areas?

Charles Di Britannia: There is a reason why they are in those positions in the first place.

ID Sojourner: Maybe. But is it a feasible thing to impose the way of Britannia onto its colonies, surely such is the case when you employ Britannians to govern those lands. Geopolitics complicate things.

Charles Di Britannia: O Rly?

ID Sojourner: Ya Rly.

Charles Di Britannia: Whether my practice is most adequate, I shall not comment on it. But I have absolute faith in my children and the nobles in managing our lands. I have absolute faith in them. I cannot possibly imagine someone like say, Schneizel, usurping my throne! Hahaha!

ID Sojourner: There is hardly anyone who does not know of the Knights of Rounds. The Rounds are chosen personally by you, apart from being a capable Knightmare pilot and a soldier, what are other qualities that do you seek before allowing one into such a prestigious order?

Charles Di Britannia: Our Empire is brimming with talent. In fact, we have a surplus of capable warriors. And as you have said, I do look for unique factors before inducting them into the Rounds. Although it varies for individuals, it is basically the need to be outstanding in many different ways.

ID Sojourner: So they need not be the finest warriors? As long as they are special?

Charles Di Britannia: That depends.

ID Sojourner: Let us conclude this with a personal question. Is there anyone whom you greatly admire?

Charles Di Britannia: Excluding myself?

ID Sojourner: Preferably someone else.

Charles Di Britannia: Charlie Chaplin. Now if you would excuse me, I have a bikini wax appointment at the island of Kaminejima.

ID Sojourner: Thank you for your time. Is there anything else you wish to say to our readers?

ID Sojourner: Thank you, your Majesty.